


Don't Know Your Own Strength

by redeem147



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-29
Updated: 2011-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-21 22:43:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redeem147/pseuds/redeem147
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander is so fragile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Know Your Own Strength

She burst through the crypt door, breathing heavily as though she had run all the way from home. Which she had. “Spike, I have to talk to you!”

 

He looked up from his volume of ‘Sin and Redemption in the Secular Society.’ “Yes, Buffy?” he asked, peering over the top of his glasses.

 

“I need your help. Right now. Please? You have to.”

 

“Well,” he replied, “It must have seemed urgent for you to run out in your bathrobe at this time of the night.”

 

“It’s just, it’s...God, this is hard.” She took a deep breath, dropping eye contact. “Xander, and I, well, he came over, and we were both hurting, and you’ve made it clear you aren’t interested any more, and, well...”

 

“Buffy,” he asked calmly, “Are you trying to tell me you had sex with Xander? It must have been very good for you to run right over and tell me about it.” He looked back down at his book.

 

“No, that’s not, well it is, but...” She pulled the hardcover from his hands. “I broke him.”

 

“You what?”

 

“I’m just not used anymore...he was so, not, and...” She took his hand and pulled him out of the chair. “Please, just help me.”

 

They climbed into his new window-tinted Toyota Tercel and he drove her back to Revello Drive.

 

“My, my,” Spike said, looking down at Xander’s naked form. “You really did break him, didn’t you?”

 

“Help me. Please. We have to get rid of him.”

 

“Hmmm.” Spike inspected the body. “It looks like you broke his back and his neck at the same time. You should know better than to try that move with an ordinary human.”

 

“You used to like it.” She blushed. “Help me get rid of him. Like you did before.”

 

“It won’t be so easy, pet. If the body turns up, they’ll be able to match those marks to your dental records.” He walked over to her phone. “Better just to call the police.”

 

“The police?” She was incredulous. “They’ll lock me up. Throw away the key.”

 

“Oh, I think not. I’m sure they’ll rule it as an accident. Involuntary manslaughter at most.” He handed her the receiver. “Call them. Make a clean breast of it. You’ll feel much better for it.” He headed out the door.

 

“But Spike,” she cried. “I didn’t mean this to happen. I love you.”

 

Buffy woke up screaming, the horrific images playing over and over in her head. “Ewwww. Xander sex!”


End file.
